Wednesday, November 2, 2016

Chronicles of a Baby Boomer - Google



Be careful what you Google for.

I was putzing around thinking of old friends from long ago and decided to google one. An old girl friend. I know. It's voyeuristic. And peeping-Tomish. But I knew a little about her after we broke up. We were still friends. Though we not exactly kept up with each other. But I was still curious where she might be today. A little. I Googled her. Shoot me.

Nothing.

So I got introspective. I thought, Why not try that Twilight Zone thing? You remember? The one where the guy has the truth glasses that allow him to see what other people are thinking?  He uses them to cheat at cards until he starts learning things about his friends he'd rather not know? Like his wife's cheating on him with one of them? Then he finally puts them on and looks in a mirror?

I Googled myself.

24760 matches came up for Jonathan Loux. Not exactly punctuating.

Jonathan Loux obituary. Pensacola, FL. Better stay away from there.

I'm listed on a Town of Canterbury document getting $35.09 back in tax rebate. I don't remember getting the check. Bastards! Well, yes. I do. Now that I think of it. OK. We're even.

I'm in a database group discussion list talking about DB2 auth ID errors. Ah. I remember those days. That's when I used to have a real job!

There are several sites that will tell me all about me. Phone number, address, age, sign, blood type, skin PH. For a fee, I suspect.

Oh. Here's a connection to the theatre. Jonathan Loux to stage Agatha Christie murder mystery. Nice!

This one says, "This site may harm your computer." I'll click anyway. Google gave me a stern warning. Enter at your own risk! You could have malware installed on your computer! Your brain turned into mush! Abandon all hope ye who click here!

OK, already. I don't trust anybody with my name, anyway!  So I relented. I don't want to be possessed or unencrypted or downloaded or anything. Though I wondered...

Blah, blah, blah. More genealogy. More fishing expeditions. More various Jonathan Loux's around the world. How uninteresting. Isn't there anything scandalous any of my doppelgangers are doing? Do I have to do all this myself?

MySpace profiles. VMware blog. Some entries in French. LinkedIn. Facebook. Some crap from Twitter. A couple of my blog entries. Interesting. I wonder why those ones bubbled up? I write a lot of blog entries. Why index these? An org chart from UConn. Oh, look. I remember when they thought I was organized! How naive!

Ooo, look. My casting in an upcoming show at the Bradley! Old Joe in A Christmas Carol! Nice and current.

A review of a previous show. Blood Relations. That was a good show.

A comment on some other blog from 2012. What a loud mouth! Though I was right, of course.

A newspaper article from when we had to move a show from Putnam to Danielson at the last minute due to infrastructure problems. The ceiling collapsed in our home theatre. I described it as 'guerilla theatre' because we had to be quick on our feet. God. We just needed a truck, a flatbed, and a lot of willing hands! I'm glad we had all! It was still a great show.

And lots of other random references to lots of other Jon, John, and Jonathan Loux's in lots of other mindless circumstances in lots of other stupid places. How boring.

Not a scandal to be seen.

My work's cut out for me, I see...

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