November, 2024.
There is a fifth dimension, beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension that is as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man’s fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area that we call ‘The Twilight Zone.’
Or, maybe, just a vacation. A trip away. For a time away from home.
It is November, two thousand and twenty-four, and I was there.
I had the opportunity and privilege of joining a group of explorers through the Adept Expeditions travel agency. The expedition was organized by a man called Anyextee (pronounced N-E-X-T.)
I kept trying to interpret it as an Egyptian name. Maybe An’yex-te? Anu Ye X’te? Whatever? Or something. Until someone told me,
“Jon, it’s an acronym.”
“An acronym?” I asked. “An acronym for what?”
“It’s an acronym for… N-E-X-T!”
“That’s not what ‘acronym’ means,” I said. “Acronyms are letters that stand for words, not words that stand for letters. And it doesn’t make sense,” I puzzled and pondered. “What does that mean, exactly? N-E-X-Huh? What?”
“It means what it means. N-E-X-T. Just go with it.”
“But-!”
“It’s what he wants to be called. I don’t know, maybe his real name is Fred or George and this is more exotic.”
“I guess…” I said, not convinced.
“Um, just shut up. The boat’s leaving, Dum-dum.”
“Well, OK. Why didn’t you say so to begin with?”
And so it begins.
The tour was led by ancient history professor, Dr. David Miano, who I first encountered on his wonderful YouTube channel, “World of Antiquity.”
And by, ‘Ancient History professor,’ I mean, Professor of Ancient History. Just to be clear. No offense, David.
I have been a subscriber to his excellent channel for several years. In 2023 I received an email from Dr. Miano, inviting me to a ‘subscribers only’ expedition he was leading and decided to graciously invite some of his YouTube subscribers. His videos frequently take him to various exotic places around the world in places like India, Turkey, er, Türkiye, as well as Egypt. This time he decided to let some of his patrons tag along with him.
Well, you didn’t have to email me twice.
It lasted fourteen days, many of which involved sailing down the Nile River on a Dahabiya, which is an Egyptian sailboat. The name is based on an Arabic word meaning ‘Gold,’ probably due to its original purpose, i.e. hauling gold around for the Pharaoh, and dates back to ancient times.
Our boat, though a sailboat, was actually towed around by a tugboat like a constellation pulled through the heavens by a celestial helper. If it had been running on wind power, we would probably still be in Aswan today. We made good progress.
We met in Cairo on a Tuesday and on Wednesday flew to Aswan, which is in Upper Egypt, which is southern Egypt. This makes Aswan in Upper Egypt down on a modern map.
Up is down in Egypt. Now, on ancient maps, Up used to be East, which is how we ‘orient’ ourselves by finding that direction, East. This makes upper Egypt to the right on an ancient map, should you encounter an ancient map of the world.
The Nile River flows from south to north, right to left on ancient maps, up to down when just talking about Egypt, or down to up on modern maps and who cares about modern maps, anyway? Just stick with the group and do what Anyextee tells you to do. OK?
I am writing this travel log in a slightly different style than my usual logs. It is not necessarily chronologically in order or dutifully documented, story tellers being consummate time travelers and inventive diabolic geniuses.
I’ve been to Egypt before and seen many of the traditional tourist sites and wrote a more traditional travel log of the variety of, “This day we went here and that day we went there. We spent such and such time negotiating this Egyptian bureaucracy and smoked this shisha (pronounced SHEE-sha) over here. Then my eyes got kinda blurry and…,
And suddenly I said, “Where am I? And how much do I have to pay to get out of here?” That sort of thing.
This trip was to be a Magical History Tour with Dr. Miano as our John Lennon and Imodium taking the place of psychedelic substances- Several of us got blitheringly sick on one of the dahabiyas. The other-did I mention there were two?-Fared, well. Better than the other. We blame the salads on one of the dahabiyas, or the water they were washed in, rather. The one I was on, of course. I spend a day-Well. Best not to tell.
The adventure would focus on the Middle Kingdom and Ptolemaic period to the Roman era. There were to be no pyramids!
I said no pyramids!
OK. I arrived a day early and did some, ‘Stupid Tourist tricks,’ my first full day there.
A nice Egyptian meal.
Ascending the Grand Galary in the Pyramid of Khufu.
Entrance to the King’s Chamber.
Granite sarcophagus. Or electric generator or whatever.
This travel log will be more, ‘Nile of Consciousness,’ and I will be focusing on the Joy of the Journey and the Camaraderie of the Companions. And there was plenty of both.
I didn’t keep a formal travel log, so forgive me if I refer to places as, “Um…, someplace in Egypt? I think?”
I did take pictures of signs at places we visited and gondolas I swung from, so I could remember where I had been.
It didn’t help.
One last thing. Along with the charisma of Dr. David and the enthusiasm of Anyextee, we were accompanied by two other, wonderful guides and helper elves: Youssef and Ihab, who were enormously talented and helpful and always there shepherding us desert sheep from crisis to ATM to museums and around the streets of Luxor, where we frequently got lost. Thank you, my friends.
Lastly, thanks to the numerous crewmembers on our dahabiyas, porters, vendors, guides, and water closet attendants reminding us that they needed ‘backsheesh’ after a visit. I salute you.
We learned a few Arabic words of note. These included: Shukraan, Thank you; La, shukraan, No, thank you; La, just ‘No’ in general, often repeated until out of earshot, backsheesh of course, tip, money, bribe, gratuity, and several others, most of which I instantly forgot. Sorry. I’ll do better next time. Promise.
And now, On with the (Professor’s) Show!
Our guides, recently married: David and Tina. Much thanks and blessing on the both of you. Thank you, always.
Our hotel in Aswan, before we met our dahabiya we had a stay in a very nice hotel.
This doesn’t look quite so lovely until you’ve seen the expanse of desert on either side of the river. Really. It’s something unbelievable.
And here is Rachel, our photographer. Well, David’s photographer since he was making one of his videos as well as keeping us in tow.
Here is Youssef bestowing an ancient blessing on us. Or maybe just threatening me if I don’t get that thing out of his face. Hey, Youssef!
I believe this is Ramses II. This shot was taken in his temple in Abu Simbel, Aswan, where he and his queen, Nefertari’s temples were moved in the 1960’s to preserve them from the soon-to-be created Lake Nassar.
We saw a lot of Ramses II on this trip. Or Ramses the Great as he was called by his friends, his enemies, and remembered by history. Ramses was a powerful, prosperous, and prolific king. He also had a close relationship with his wife, Nefertari, who he loved and respected.
Ramses the Second was so significant that he is remembered in the Bible as the pharaoh of the Exodus. (Erm…, thanks? I think?)
We saw a lot of him during our trip as he was a long reigning monarch, his reign only bested by Elizabeth II in our own time. Respect all around.
My room on the dahabiya. Complete with Isis/Hathor mural.
Coffee on the boat. Our ship-hands were very helpful.
Abu Simbel in Aswan, which is in Upper Egypt. Which is down on a map. This is starting to sound like an Abbot and Costello bit.
At night there is a light show and the monuments are illuminated. Our first experience of genuine ‘Egyptian Lightbulbs.’
The temple of Ramses II in Abu Simbel, right next door to which is a temple dedicated to his queen, Nefertari. Like I said, Ramses loved his queen.
Ramses hanging out with his god homies at the back of his temple. His face is illuminated twice a year, on the anniversaries of his birth and his coronation as king. It is impressive that the Egyptians and several other nations that assisted in the moving of these monuments took the care and attention to assure that this bit of astronomic ballet was preserved.
Ramses II would be impressed.
Minutia amongst the gods. Or, How small we mortals be.
Entrance to the temple of Nefertari.
Nefertari herself? I assume so. The cartouche indicates royalty.
Isis. Even the gods take note.
Two goddesses attending royalty. It’s good to be the queen.
Hathor, the goddess depicted with the 1950’s hairdo, is frequently seen on the capitals of square columns.
The Great Ones illuminated at night.
Extremely mangey cat on the island of Elephantine.
What he said.
Yup.
Nothing lasts.
Except the ever-present Nile.
Dr. Miano getting down and dirty.
They liked their graffiti.
And time to go home. Um, time to go dahabiya… Home… Whatever.
Rachel taking pictures and me taking pictures of Rachel taking pictures. There is symmetry here.
Another day, another tomb.
Anyextee demonstrating the ancient sport of ‘Rock Balancing.’
I should have squared this up better. It says it is the famine stela and commemorates a seven year famine under king Djoser who reigned around 2590 BC. It was inscribed during the Ptolemaic period, over 2000 years later. Interesting that they would take the time and trouble to commemorate something that happened so long before their own time. I guess it made quite an impression on people.
David, Ihab, and Anyextee. Hanging out with a rock.
And a sign. Well, a map of Egypt with 'You are here and everything else is there' on it. Very versatile.
Another sign.
An unfinished obelisk in the Aswan granite quarry. Had it been finished it would have weighed over one thousand tons…
…not too shabby. As stones go…
…ya, OK.
Yeesh! Another rock!
This is how they carved it out of the bedrock. One bash of a harder rock against a softer rock, one after another. For this gouge they would have tied the ball of harder rock to a rope and fixed the rope to the stone so they could just keep swinging the into the stone.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Person.
Person who?
Personally, I wouldn’t like to be the last one punching out a thousand ton obelisk just before it drops.
Temples of Philae Island. The precious present mimics the favored past.
A goddess and a king hold hands and exchange a blessing.
I like the sentiment I see on the walls here. It seems quaint, and permeant-permanent, Um. I don’t know. Somehow relevant or somewhat such. To our days and times. Why not? I wish our gods cared for us as much as theirs did for them.
Temple of Isis on an island which is now in Lake Nasser.
Hello! Nice day for a paddle.
When all you have is a river, you learn how to float.
Gathering place just outside the dining room. We could buy beer and wine and get free bottles of water any time. There was an honor system. We just put our name and quantity down on a piece of paper and paid up at the end. They also had a coffee machine.
Um. Let’s see. Where are we now? Oh, more about the temple of Isis.
Let’s see… This pyramid is on the Upper West side of the Nile which is across from the Temple of Karnak in Queens. I can take the A train to get there. I wonder if that Falafel place in the Nubian village is still open?
