Saturday, January 12, 2019

Stranger-Friend


Funny. When I was in Russia last summer, all I had to do was look confused and stare at a map on a street corner or have trouble communicating with the girl in the coffee shop in the train station and someone would appear and ask me if they could help. After a while I felt no qualms asking people for help wherever I was and everyone I asked was glad to do so. In one city I flagged down a traffic cop and asked him, in halting pantomime and pointing to my goofy, cartoony, tourist map, where am I now? And here! This is where I want to be. Can you help? Of course he did. As best we could both communicate. But I have noticed that people want to communicate. As long as you are respectful. My logic of life and getting along is: Don’t be an Ass. It’s worked for me (sometimes.)

One of my traveling companions lost his luggage on the flight. He wanted to buy a pair of sunglasses. We went into the Optiks store. He explained what had happened and the saleslady said he could take 40% off any sunglasses in the shop. That’s the side of Russia we are not allowed to see.

And what’s the side of our country we are not allowed to see?

I had that experience once in Boston. A man came up to the group I was with and asked where we needed to go? Faneuil Hall, we said, and he showed us the way. When I ask people in New York for directions, more often than not they want to help. I think there’s more compassion out there than we think, it’s just anonymous and quiet and somewhat beaten down. Or modest, you could say. The loud mouths always steal the stage. The malcontents always try to frame the conversation according to their talking points. And, as usual, the bad ones get all the copy. And the many are too busy being themselves and raising their families to understand. They are frightened. How have we come to only see the bad in people?

Do we see the bad in ourselves? And the good? Why not see it in others?

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