“I’ve got to get back all those confidential receipts for Diet Coke and Banquet Grade McNuggets that the lying FBI stole from my safe. It’s a beautiful safe. A wonderful safe. Just not an FBI proof safe.
“Is Lying in State Joe Biden still in the oval office? Is he still lying to the state? What year is it anyway: 2120? The one-year centenary of the first time I tried to do this for the second time, once more? Do you think this will resurrect Stephen Colbert’s career? Covfefe be praised!”
From a slab in the dungeon under her home in Chappaqua, Hillary felt the rise of outrage from legions of Zombies of undead Democrat voters (and their voting dead relatives) rise in agony.
“Trump Bad,” said Hillary, as she flung her arms over the Pit of Deplorables. “Must… save… country and get… rightful chance… at… White House.”
Just then several proton guns arranged around the pit clicked on, having been set there by legions of MAGA Technicians, MAGAT’s, as they are called. The evil, now revealed as Gozer the Hillarian, was flung back into the pit. You could just hear Satan from the bottom of the pit say, “Back so soon?”
Bill Clinton was out of town, being at the cloister of his monastic order, “The Holy and Perpetually Promiscuous Panderers to the Devotion of Saint Epstein” on the Retreat, Sanctuary, and Brothel of Little Saint James. He and his ‘Little Saint James’ were at it again.
The American people were all gone, being superfluous by now. All voting was done automatically by bored monkeys with massive student loans they can never pay back.
Hearing the commotion, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez died of an Insurrection… again.
Americans are now all mining crickets in the Schwab Reset Village and Slave Pits. And they are happy not to have to listen to any of those losers again.
