People on the Move are Having Great Movements.
Amid rising concerns of imminent energy shortages, inventers have been called upon to rise to the challenge and create, once and for all, an omni-potent, ever-lasting source of energy for our burgeoning society. Flying cars don’t lift themselves up, nor do moving sidewalks move unaided. It takes imagination and gumption to fuel our ever changing world.
Famed inventor Thomas Edsel of even more famed big brain research center, Ohno Park, has unveiled his latest miracle of science and technology. While addressing the problem of powering all of the gadgets overflowing his workshop, he had an inspiration from Nature, of all places.
“With all of the light bulbs and electric nose hair curlers in my shop, the power requirements were growing exponentially,” he told this reporter. “And we all know what that means. A brick wall of progress just might be in our future.”
Don’t worry, fallout friends. The good inventor was just setting the stage for a play on our fears. He went on to assure us that brick walls can be breached. Always have. Always will. And what does Mr. Edsel have in his breaches? I’ll let him explain.
“I was walking in the garden by my workshop pondering the energy problem when I got an inspiration from the most unlikely source. Nature! I saw a tree and remembered that plants can transport tons of water and nutrients from their lowers roots to their highest leaves, a feat that must require a tremendous amount of energy. Surely we can better that!”
He went on to describe his latest invention. An invention of inventions, of sorts. The Capillary Recycler And Processor. This device uses the energy of capillary action to generate a virtually inexhaustible supply of clean, safe and friendly energy. It employs thousands of nano tubes made from carbon fibers and Helium-3. Water is drawn up from a reservoir at the bottom and used to power pizo-electric generators, micro turbines and chill beer at the same time. Mr. Edsel has constructed a prototype and is happily sipping his chilled beverage of choice as I write this. Isn’t technology delicious?
Mr. Edsel is in the process of setting up a pilot plant in Bedford Falls, NY to ramp up construction. He is calling his company CRAP-Tastic Industries. I know I can’t wait to be parted from my money for this one way ticket to the future!