Thursday, April 5, 2018


So. I got home with all my pot, medicine, stuff, and I don’t know what to do with it. So I put it all on a table and sat. Looking at it. With my hands steepled against my nose and a look of puzzled disenligtenment in my eyes. Huh. Now what?

I got the complete rundown from the medical marijuana ‘pharmacist’ down in the Thames Valley Alternate Relief store-Pharmacy-Dispensary-Drug Dealer-Whatever. Though their selection list is called a ‘menu.’ Not exactly a prescription. Or a diagnosis. I don’t ever remember being diagnosed as needing a ham sandwich. Take two bowls of ice cream and call me in the morning. Well, I told the pharmacist. I’m looking for help sleeping. Relief of pain. And, sure, getting high, too. A little buzz once in an always is nice.

I steepled my fingers further, into a cathedral.

Alright. She went through the whole list, menu. And I was bewildered, so I asked if she had a sampler pack. Something to get me started and take me through the rounds, so to speak. Maybe a couple of the vials of oil and an edible?

So here I am. I’ve got something called Hybridon J Pure Vpen 375 with instructions to inhale every 2 to 3 hours on the Orange/Green setting. There are all sorts of percentages and mg’s and THC levels and such on the label. It looks almost legal. Definitely scientific. I’m almost impressed.

My fingers found their way into a braid.

And here is some Hybridon OB Vpen 300 NDC. Use Purple heat setting. Oh, yah. I almost forgot. I also bought this gadget that looks like a fountain pen with a USB port on one end. I’ve got to plug the drug cartridges-No. Medicine cartridges, into it and vape away. I used to use a corn cob pipe in college.

My fingers discovered macramé.

And this. Indicore OB Slips – 10 x 20 mg. NDC 4372. This one has peppermint flavoring! Place ½ to 1 strip under the tongue every 8 hours as needed.

My fingers started tapping out Morse code.

And I spent two hundred bucks on this stuff? Better be worth it.

Don’t look at us, said my fingers. We just live here.

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