With apologies to Cole Porter

Times have changed

And we've often rewound the clock

Since the Puritans got a shock

When they landed on Plymouth Rock.

If today

Any shock they should try to stem

'Stead of landing on Plymouth Rock,

Plymouth Rock would land on them.

In olden days, a glimpse of stocking

Was looked on as something shocking.

But now, God knows,

Anything goes.

Those bloggers who post quite fanatically

can't seem to write grammatically

with their prose.

Anything goes.

Whenever you text a lot

Seek what’s next and hot

Even sext a lot

Or be vexed a lot

By affects you spot

from requests you got

For pornography downloads.

When Tom Borner with grace and savour faire

Spearheads a rennovation here

For our shows.

Anything goes

Since all you see, the one percenters own

even your UConn college loan

out it flows.

Anything goes.

When Bob Sloat in negotiation can

bring here a Gilbert and Sullivan

Robert knows.

Anything goes.

And if it's boob tubes you like

Or side boobs you like

Or cold gin you like

Or hot sin you like

Or prayer books you like

Or tail hooks you like.

No outrage shows.

The white house back yard, with no pardon there

Now sports and grand new garden there

Michelle knows,

Anything goes

If Oli Stone, with high falutin style

Documents Vladimir Putin's life

Then Oliver knows

Anything goes.

Ben Bernanke, a Guttenberg wanna be

prints us a daily money tree

Benjamin knows

Anything goes.

Just think of those shocks you've got

from those stocks you've bought

and the debts you've made

and regrets you've made

the old house you flipped

the new Straus you ripped

to your iPod nanos.

And if I haven't gotten to the close

bring out the rotten tomatoes

Because I know…

It's time I go.